ME VS SELF
Okay, this might sound crazy but i have been fighting with my self for almost everyday. And this has been going on for weeks now. I can’t even count the number of weeks, or prolly it just started last june or july. How many days have passed since June or July, just do the math.
Everyday is like a battle for me that I had to win over and over again because I don’t have a choice. The thing is, tinatamad nakong pumasok sa work. Idk why, it’s not like this when i was still in CVG. Back when I was there, I only had missed work once—-and that was new year’s eve because wala akong masakyan—-or i thought wala akong masakyan. Malay ko ba may iba pa palang daanan papunta sa ayala. ;3 But now, I’ve been wanting to absent because i just miss sleep. And mula nung June, wala nang month na wala akong absent. Pero at least yung sa akin, one absent per month. hihi
I tell my sis that i would be absent and she would tell me not to. I really really want to be skip work but there’s also a part of me saying not to. I have this mantra na “Work or be poor” (“Magtrabaho or be mahirap”) Kasi at the end of the day, hindi naman ang sis ko ang maapektuhan. Well medyo maapektuhan pala sya kasi pag wala akong work, wala akong contribution sa rent, and sa food. but the one who will be affected the most is ako. kasi i’m the one who works.
Yesternight, i texted my coach na aabsent ako because my right eye is lumaki bigla. parang namaga. It’s true. part of me says salamat at namaga ang mata ko para may reason ako para umabsent. Kahiya kaya lumabas sa room na namamaga ang mata. huhu But guess what, pinapasok parin ako. (maybe kasi hindi naman ang mata ang nakikipag usap sa mga customer) kaya HUHUHU talaga kagabi. But even so, there’s a part of me that says at least hindi ako nag absent. wala akong deduction sa sweldo ko hihi.
I really don’t know what’s gotten into me. Bakit kasi ang sarap matulog. BAKEEEETTT? Pero nakakapanghinayang pag umabsent ako. HUHU sana bigla akong sapian ng espiritu ng kasipagan.